It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
