Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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