Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
