hotel room ftw
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
