i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
