There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
