i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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