Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
Randomize
