IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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