Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
