is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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