so explain again why im purple
no
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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