I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
