I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
