uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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