i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
