He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
