Tell her she can't have a vagina
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
How does one acquire holy water?
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
This toilet bowl is my home.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
