it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
