Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
