Jerry, you need to find god
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
