porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
