Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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