She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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