whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
