If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
