I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
