What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
