never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
