If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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