The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
