I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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