Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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