I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
