ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
