The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
