honey bunches of taint.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
