GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
