I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
