so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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