but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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