so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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