How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Randomize
