You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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