you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
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