What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
