A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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