you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Randomize
