I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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