I puked a lego.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
