so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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