After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
